The Charisma Myth Pdf Free Download

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Charisma, that irresistible magnetism some people possess, is often thought of as trait you’re born with—you either have it or you don’t. In The Charisma Myth, however, author Olivia Fox Cabane explains that charisma is a skill you can learn, and she explains exactly how with examples, exercises, and practical tips you can try with anyone.

How to Develop Your Charisma and Become More Likable

It may seem like some people are born likable, but everyone is capable of developing charisma. No…

Who This Book Is For

This book is for anyone that is looking to up their social game or get ahead in their career. As Cabane explains in the book, charisma can help with both your work and personal life, so it’s perfect for someone who wants to be better at networking, give better presentations, close sales more often, land the next job, make new friends, or even get better at dating. If you’re rolling your eyes at the idea of a book helping you become more likable right now, this book will probably surprise you. There’s no “hocus-pocus” or “learn to love yourself” mantras here. Each lesson is filled with practical, real-world-ready tips, and Cabane explains why each one is effective every step of the way.

What You’ll Get

This book touches on a few major concepts to help you understand and develop charisma. The title itself, “The Charisma Myth,” is attacking the widely accepted notion that charisma is something you either have or you don’t. It opens by explaining why that isn’t true, explains the key characteristics of a charismatic mindset, and then delves into the “how to” of it all. Here’s some of what you’ll learn:

In the chapter “The Charismatic Behaviors” you’ll learn that there are three keys to being charismatic: you need to be present in the moment when engaging with others; you need to give off warmth by implying goodwill toward others; and you need to appear powerful by coming across as someone capable of affecting the world around you.
In the chapter “Overcoming the Obstacles” you’ll learn how to find the right mindset for becoming charismatic by handling discomfort, neutralizing negative thoughts by recognizing them instead of suppressing them, and alleviating your anxiety by rewriting reality in your mind to better suit you.
In the chapter “Charismatic First Impressions” you’ll learn how quickly someone sizes you up, that people really like people that like them, how to dress to impress, how to give the perfect handshake when meeting for the first time, and how to make a graceful exit with a lasting impression.
In the chapter “Charismatic Body Language” you’ll learn the importance of “how” something is said versus “what” was said, how body language can be an “emotional contagion” that infects people around you, how to effectively mirror someone’s body language and mannerisms, how to use personal space to your advantage, the power of charismatic posture, and how to use eye contact without being a creep.

The book does an excellent job of introducing each topic, explaining its importance, then going into the technical aspects. At the end of each section, you’ll also find a dedicated exercise that embodies the core value of the lesson. I attempted a majority of these exercises (some require other people or certain environments), and found them to be quite useful despite how simple they are. Additionally, Cabane does a fantastic job of using stories and make-believe examples to thoroughly explain each point. You’ll never be left wondering “what does she mean by that?” or “why would that matter?” Everything is crystal clear.

One Trick You’ll Take Away

There are so many good mental tricks and “how-tos” to learn here, but here’s one that really stuck with me. So many of us worry about making a good first impression, so I really identified with the “Charismatic First Impressions” chapter. The key to a good first impression is about more than coming off as likable; it’s also about being memorable. That’s why Cabane suggests you make a graceful exit by offering the other person something of value before you go:

Information: an article, book, or web site you think might be of use to them
A connection: someone they ought to meet whom you know and can introduce them to
Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak
Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for

Offering value will often create in others a feeling of warmth and goodwill toward you, and your departure from the conversation with be haloed by the impression of generosity you’ve created.

Also, don’t wait too long to end your conversation. For a first impression there’s no need to oversell yourself. It’s all about quality time you have with the other person, not quantity, so don’t overstay your welcome.

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Our Take

This book has it all. It’ll help you be a better listener and feel more confident around others. By the time you finish it, you’ll be dying to go out and try some of the things you’ve learned. The best part: reading the book doesn’t feel like you’re reading some kind of mumbo-jumbo self-help manual. It reads much more like a (fun) textbook, with well-documented information that is organized to be easy to understand. The end of each chapter even has a “Key Takeaways” section to help you review what you just read.

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If I had to pick something that brings this book down, it would be the abundance of examples Cabane uses to explain most of the major lessons. The examples are very good at explaining the point, but on occasion, they seem borderline unnecessary. It’s probably better that they are there for those that don’t get it, but once it clicks in your head, you’ll feel like you’re slogging through the rest. Of course, you can always skim forward in those sections if you don’t need the explanation.

On a personal level, I’ve specifically worked at being more charismatic and sociable since I was a shy, awkward teen. I’ve read a lot of stuff on how to increase likability, and even written it about it here a few times. That being said, this is one of the best resources I’ve ever come across. It’s something I wish I could have read back in high school, and its practical, no-nonsense approach makes it perfect for Lifehacker readers.

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Something to keep in mind, however, is that while this book is filled with good tips, it won’t make you more charismatic overnight (or by the time you finish reading it). Cabane makes it clear that the strategies within the book are supposed to be practiced. Just like any other skill, it takes deliberate practice to develop. Give the tips and exercises here an honest effort, however, and you might be surprised at how fast you’ll see some of the benefits.

You can grab The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism on Amazon Kindle or paperback for around $9. You can also learn more about the author at her web site.

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How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

Aristotle claimed – and many modern politicians are fully aware of it – that what you say is much less important than who you are. In other words, if you’re charismatic enough, you can probably get away with everything.

Olivia Fox Cabane is here to teach you all about “The Charisma Myth.”

About Olivia Fox Cabane

Olivia Fox Cabane is a French-American author. She is a regular columnist for “Fast Company” and has previously written for both “Forbes” and “The Huffington Post”. Cabane was the youngest person in history to have been appointed Foreign Trade Advisor to the French Government.

She has authored, with Judah Pollack, one more book, “The Net and the Butterfly.”

“The Charisma Myth Summary”

Let’s face it: charisma matters!

So much, in fact, that It’s almost frightening to think about it! Just take people such as Ted Bundy into consideration: he was able to use his charisma to woo more than 30 women to death. And, even so, women still asked him to marry them while he was on trial!

But, then again, everything has a dark side. The point is how to use the power of charisma for your own benefit.

Obviously, before anything else, you have to understand what it is.

And according to Olivia Fox Cabane and her bestselling book “The Charisma Myth”, charisma is a mixture of three components: presence, power, and warmth. And it’s not something you’re born with – but something you can learn it.

Even though many people think that the opposite is true, it’s pretty easy to disprove a theory of innate charisma. For one thing, even the most charismatic people aren’t charismatic 24/7! So, obviously, they are doing something which makes them charismatic at will.

Take Marylin Monroe, for example.

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Once she was able to ride the subway without people noticing her. And the moment she went out on the streets – everybody was once again amazed by her.

The difference?

She consciously tried to be Norma Jean on the subway. And then – Marylin Monroe out of it.

The foundational element of the transformation:

Her body language. Which, no matter how much you ignore it, does shape who you actually are. So, the best strategy is to try and control it as much as you can. It’s difficult – because your body is often controlled by your honest brain – but it’s possible.

And that brings us to the main element of charisma: presence.

In a world filled with distractions, you’re probably mind-wandering once every two seconds. And that makes you unhappy – because you’re not actually living in the present. But it also annoys other people! Because what you’re relating as a message to them is, really, nothing short of appalling. Namely: “I want to be somewhere else now”.

Well, nobody wants to feel left out. And because so many people do – and so many others fail to take this into consideration – you can seduce someone simply by being there for him or her.

But, that’s only one part of the equation. The other two are: power and warmth.

And there’s an evolutionary reason for the importance of both.

Your ancestors, for example, didn’t hesitate when they had to choose between the powerful person who can save them from an attack by buffalo and the shy person who wouldn’t. Their lives depended on the right choice.

However, if power is lacking warmth it leads to authoritarian behavior – which is not at all charismatic. Because charisma is not about you – it’s about the person in front of you.

A great example of this is the story of a woman who had the privilege of dining with both William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli, Great Britain’s two candidates in the 1868 elections.

Afterward, she wrote that both of them projected power and presence. But only one of them projected warmth.

Why?

“After dining with Mr. Gladstone,” she wrote, “I thought he was the cleverest person in England. But after dining with Mr. Disraeli,” she added, “I thought I was the cleverest person in England.”

Key Lessons from “The Charisma Myth PDF”

1. Charisma Has Three Elements – and Each of Them Is Acquirable
2. There Are Four Distinct Charisma Styles
3. Three Techniques to Fight Discomfort: Dedramatize, Destigmatize, and Neutralize

Charisma Has Three Elements – and Each of Them Is Acquirable

Charisma is not something you’re born with: it’s something you acquire through hours and hours of effort. Now, using the analysis of Olivia Fox Cabane presented in “The Charisma Myth,” you can finally learn where you should focus your energy to become more charismatic.

There are no more than three main areas: being fully present in the moment; acting more powerful; and expressing more warmth.

There Are Four Distinct Charisma Styles

However, don’t make the mistake that everyone is charismatic in the same manner. On the contrary – everyone has his or her distinct charismatic persona. Cabane distinguishes between four types of charisma.

Focus charisma is best exemplified by Bill Clinton. It alarms people that you’re fully present. Visionary charisma makes you charismatic because of the things you inspire people to believe in. Example: Steve Jobs.

The kindness charisma makes you feel accepted. The Dalai Lama is the utmost example of it. Finally, the authority charisma makes people believe that you can change their lives. Bill Gates is a good example of it.

Three Techniques to Fight Discomfort: Dedramatize, Destigmatize, and Neutralize

Being charismatic is also about fighting discomfort. Or, in other words, being there for the other person more than about being there for yourself exclusively.

And a good way to do this is to use these three techniques.

Dedramatization means reinterpreting the bad things happening. In other words: what’s happening is not serious and everybody else has experienced it at least once.

Charisma Myth Book

Destigmatizing means reminding yourself that discomfort is normal and that even the saintliest people must experience.

Finally, neutralizing means tackling your negative thoughts with positive ones.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“The Charisma Myth” Quotes

One of the main reasons we’re so affected by our negative thoughts is that we think our mind has an accurate grasp on reality, and that its conclusions are generally valid. This, however, is a fallacy. Click To TweetBeing charismatic does not depend on how much time you have but on how fully present you are in each interaction. Click To TweetBeing present—paying attention to what’s going on rather than being caught up in your thoughts—can yield immense rewards. When you exhibit presence, those around you feel listened to, respected, and valued. Click To TweetWhenever we use our brain, we fire certain neuronal connections, and the more these connections get used, the stronger they become. Click To TweetThe key questions are: Which mental state would be most useful in this situation? And which version of reality would help you get there? Click To Tweet

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